NHL Cupcakes

Personally, I couldn't care less what started the NHL Cupcake hashtag meme, but apparently it has something to do with the Islanders. What mattered to me was the enormous influx of other people's humorous takes on what certain players, teams and concepts associated with the NHL would be like in an actual, anthropomorphic cupcake form.

What resulted, for me at least, was 3 straight hours of coming up with my own NHL cupcakes.

There are literally hundreds, maybe thousands, of other NHL cupcake ideas, some of which have been highlighted over at Wings Win, Eh? which you can read here.

This list is all of the ideas I came up with during my little marathon session.

• The Shoot-Out cupcake: people liked it at first, but now they've had way too many and it just sucks.
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• The Martin Havlat cupcake: used to have icing, but Kronwall knocked it all off.
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• The Bob Probert cupcake: all sold out, and will be sorely, dearly missed. 
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• The Fernando Pisani cupcake: makes you shit your pants.
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• The Larry Aurie cupcake: haunts you after you decide not to serve with with your best cupcakes.
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• The Ilya Bryzgakldshglaoc cupcake: you have a hard time ordering it, but is pretty cheap and it's actually an alright cupcake.
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• The Pavel Datsyuk cupcake: steals the toppings from all the other cupcakes. 
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• The Ilya Kovalchuk cupcake: should be good if someone actually buys the damn recipe already.
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• The Eastern Conference cupcakes: the best is only about half as good as the Western conference's best cupcake. 
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• The Detroit Red Wings cupcake: everyone else hates it just because it's better than their cupcakes and they can't have it.
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• The Jimmy Howard cupcake: might have taken 6 years to make, but thank god it was as good as it was.
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• The Brett Lebda cupcake: tastes like rum raisin. Minus the raisin. And minus the cupcake.
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• The Todd Bertuzzi cupcake: used to be good, but you ate it at breakneck speed. Now it's not so great. 
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• The Chicago Blackhawks cupcake: customers only know they're there when a good batch is made. 
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• The Sidney Crosby cupcake (part 4): only tastes good when the other cupcakes around it taste good.
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• The Derek Boogaard cupcake: way too pricey when all you wanted was a whisk to beat some eggs with.
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• The Staal cupcakes: how many are they going to make?!
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• The Mike Modano cupcake: might be a good addition to your dessert, but if not, you're probably good with what you already have. 
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• The Darren McCarty cupcake: looked really hard to eat, but was surprisingly sweet.
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• The Atlanta Thashers cupcake: really just a Chicago Blackhawks cupcake in a different wrapper. 
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• The Stan Bowman cupcake: hardly even a cupcake anymore, because he can't read Dale Tallon's recipe. 
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• The Gary Bettman cupcake: even after you complain about the Referee cupcake, maintains it's the best cupcake out there.
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• The NHL Referees cupcake: I'd like to tell you how they taste, but they're too damn inconsistent.
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• The Ken Holland cupcake: he makes it with a bunch of random ingredients no one else wanted to use, and still tastes great.
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• The Sidney Crosby cupcake (part 3): has no taste at all in the presence of the Henrik Zetterberg cupcake.
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• The Rick Tocchet cupcake: how much do you want to bet that it'll be delicious?
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• The Nick Kronwall cupcake: keep your head up while you eat it, or you may end up unconscious.
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• The Sidney Crosby cupcake (part 2): disappears in Jimmy Howard's catching glove. 
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• The Todd Bertuzzi cupcake: don't blame the cupcake if it tastes bad, Marc Crawford made it that way.
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• The Johan Franzen cupcake: just when you think you're about to finish it off, it scores 4 goals on you.
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• The Jonathan Ericsson cupcake: it's really big and hot, but it just isn't really that good.
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• The NBC cupcake: you never want to eat it, but sometimes you just have to, and you always end up hating it.
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• The Nick Lidstrom cupcake: has no icing on it, because no one can top it. 
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• The Pavel Datsyuk: It's never where you thought you left it and ends up behind you.
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• The Red Wings Cupcake: even without half of it's ingredients, it's still better than most of the cupcakes out there. 
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• The Kris Draper cupcake: really wishes the goalie cupcakes were doughnuts. 
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• The Sidney Crosby cupcake: Should just be a cake, it didn't do anything to earn a Cup.
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• The Gary Bettman cupcake: You pay over $7 milion for it, and tastes like Sidney Crosby's balls.
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• Detroit Red Wings cupcake: you get 11 in the same time it takes to make 4 Chicago Blackhawks cupcakes. 
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• The Vile Leino cupcake: Was supposed to be really good, but got bitter after you ate a few better cupcakes first. 
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• The Mikael Samuelsson cupcake: You tried to eat it in Detroit, but it kept missing your mouth.
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• The Gordie Howe cupcake: Will always be better than the Wayne Gretzky cupcake, no matter what. 
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• The Kovalchuk cupcake: Probably would be really good, but it's too expensive to even try to eat. 
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• The Kyle Wellwood Cupcake... wait... where'd they all go?!